


a flash of light

by marsincatra



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, One Shot, Self-Worth Issues, takes place around episode 3 of season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26141449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marsincatra/pseuds/marsincatra
Summary: catra has rescued glimmer and sacrificed herself. now, as she is chipped and submerged into horde prime's green "cleansing" juice, she sees what her life could have been and what she wants it to be.tw: negative self-talk, implied character death (no one actually dies, catra is just understandably Freaking Out!)
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	a flash of light

Catra always knew she would die alone but, secretly, she had hoped it would be in a beautiful place. She had hoped that when her pitiful and unimportant life finally came to a close that she would, at least, fade out with a decadent backdrop. Maybe some trees would dance above her or the ocean’s currents would sing her a swan song like in those corny movies Scorpia used to make her watch.

Instead, Catra was left to choke to death on Horde Prime’s green sludge. The pain that seared through her body as a Horde clone pushed her into the glowing tub was unlike anything she had ever felt - but it wasn’t the worst.

The worst was when first Adora left. Unlike the chip and its parasitic veins seeping into her skin, the pain of Adora leaving wasn’t mighty - it was slow and constant. It was like when winter creeps across a field in late October, frost biting every blade of grass until it’s all hidden under a tarp of snow. Adora’s decision to join the rebellion and embrace She-ra was the confirmation Catra needed that she was unloveable. 

As the sludge began to take and Catra started losing consciousness, she started seeing flashes of her life. Briefly, Catra wished she could tell Scorpia that the drama movies were right - your life really does flash before your eyes when you die. Although she wanted to separate herself from everything Catra was still clinging to something. Some light remained inside her and thus, despite the chants of the clones, some shadows did too. 

First, Catra saw Glimmer. A flicker of sparkles and purple-pink hair. A cake smashed on the floor. This makes sense as Glimmer was the last real human Catra saw before the Horde Prime sunk her. Glimmer was also evidence of Catra’s goodness and maybe even the only person Catra has ever genuinely wanted to help. But there was something else. 

A yellow glow, followed by what looked like a red heart. A figure leaning against a tree and smiling at a tracker pad. It was the arrow kid - Bow maybe was his name? He was laughing. A surge of anger shot through Catra as she assumed that Bow must be laughing at her just as the Horde soldiers and the other kids in the Fright Zone did. But that was wrong too. This wasn’t a memory, this was something Catra had never seen before. 

Catra felt a hand grab hers. She shrieked and recoiled, turning her head to see who it was. 

“Ahh! What! Catra are you okay?” Adora yelped.

Catra paused and glanced around. She was sitting in clearing in the Whispering Woods at what appeared to be a picnic with the Princesses. Everyone was staring at her.

“Um. Uh. Yeah. Yeah, I just didn’t know you were there.”

Adora cocked her head and the other Princesses squinted and frowned at Catra. She felt the fur on her tail stand up. 

Everyone burst into laughter again.

“Ha! My mom’s recipe must be really good if it’s putting you in a trance like that!” said Glimmer, who was sitting cross-legged near a basket of round dough balls surrounded by a soft blanket of steam.

A girl with a freckled face that Catra remembers shooting flowers starts talking too. “Yes maybe it’s the recipe or  _ maybe _ Catra is trying to signal to us that she wants to work more on meditating! No rush of course but Catra, if this is your way of telling me that you want to work on reconnecting with your inner child please confirm because I am  _ so _ ready!”

“Okay Perfuma but can we not get ahead of ourselves? I’m still trying to talk Catra into reading the seventh book in the Mer-Mysteries Series - you know the one with the seal detective that’s also a bank robber? Sea Hawk promised he wouldn’t steal any more of my books if we started a book club and just rotated copies.” 

“I’m just saying that maybe Catra will benefit more from the joys of reading if we start the process of unblocking her trauma.” Perfuma turned towards Catra, “Perhaps if meditating isn’t your thing we can try coloring mandalas! I have some great travel coloring books in my bag!”

Scorpia, with her mouth full of vegetables and dough, spoke up. “Oh! Oh! I know! We could make origami cranes! Back in the Fright Zone I had this activity book that Kyle stole during one of our field trips to the dump and oh man did that thing have the best instructions for how to make origami! I swear I would have gone to school for it had we not, ya know, been so busy with trying to save the universe.”

Catra took a breath. No one was fighting. All the Princesses and their friends were together. They were snacking, chatting, laughing - Catra hadn’t seen anything like it. This time more gently, Adora wrapped her arm around Catra’s side and pulled her in. As the Princesses bickered over whether or not Catra should join what sounded like a miserable book club, Adora leaned toward her and whispered, “don’t mind them, Catra, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Tears started to well up in Catra’s eyes. What a miracle. Catra had spent basically her entire life doing things that she didn’t want to do. Making sacrifices she never wanted to make. Catra loved to win but at a certain point she lost sight of what she really desired and so she just started running towards anything that made her feel something. Whether it be a world-ending portal or the title of Crimson Waste gang-leader, Catra just wanted to be seen and heard. She wanted someone to recognize her pain and do something about it. Even if they couldn’t end it, all Catra wanted was for someone to recognize her.

Looking up, Catra quietly muttered, “Hey, Ah.. Adora?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

There was a pause and Catra’s stomach dropped. Then, like sunrise, Adora’s face broke out into the biggest smile. Her cheeks turned pink but not like Glimmer’s hair or Perfuma’s dress, more like the soft skin of a peach. Catra can’t believe she could think something so cheesy.

Giggling, Adora said “I love you too!!” She leaned more of her weight on Catra and pushed her to the ground like when they would wrestle as kids. Catra was now flat on her back and could feel herself blush as Adora buried her face into Catra’s neck. She brushed her fingers through Adora’s hair and it was just as soft as she imagined. Everyone was watching them but Catra wasn’t embarrassed, even when Bow said something dumb about “dying from cuteness overload.”

Sighing with relief, Catra glanced upward. 

The sky was blue, then green, then blue, then black.

Her throat tightened. “No. No no no no!”

Catra’s arm fell against her chest and suddenly everything was silent. Her body felt heavier. She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again over and over, desperate for everyone to come back. For the blue sky to come back. For Adora to just come back. 

Catra relaxed her eyes and realized she had woken up in a completely black room. Unidentifiable voices she didn’t recognize echoed through the space. For a moment, she wondered if she'd finally died and was doomed to spend eternity in this black box, unloved and forgotten. She rolled over and started sobbing.

Then, suddenly, from the outside of the room a voice called out to her. She could barely hear it over her cries but she knew the source.

“Catra! Catra! You have to fight it!”

It was Adora. It was the light.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! this is my first ever fic so I hope you enjoyed! leave kudos or a comment if you want me to post more! love u !!!!


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